a few days ago I just came to realisation that I was trying to shrink myself, I've been trying to hide a part of me, and it is actually why I was feeling scared to make every move

and now I just started watching The Politician and it's exactly what they are talking about - embrace your 'bad' qualities and love yourself anyway. Accept it. It's born with you and not going anywhere

upd. 27/10: watching Insatiable - they say there's God and holy spirit to help you to overcome the bad side. It gets out anyway hurting even more people